


Measured

by wreathed



Category: British Comedy RPF, Just Puddings (Web Series), Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster (Podcast)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Crossdressing, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 10:25:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18636265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wreathed/pseuds/wreathed
Summary: From the prompt: feminisation





	Measured

James steps into the box room Ed has a desk in for writing, shuts the door behind him and looks himself over in the mirror, purchased to make the room seem bigger, that covers most of the back wall.

James is wearing black heels high enough to be difficult to walk in, a very short high-waisted charcoal skirt and a silky, white wrap top, made of fabric thin and tight enough on him for his chest to be visible through the material. His lips are coloured in with deep pink lipstick.

He’s already half-hard just from putting the clothes on. He already feels humiliated, even though Ed… Ed hadn’t minded, hadn’t even looked surprised when the subject had first been broached.

(James had got himself ready alone, taking the time to put on properly the clothes that Ed had ordered for him online. It had been a few nights ago when Ed, all of a sudden, had asked James to stand still for him before he had looped a tape measure around James’s waist and, just from that, James had to go and excuse himself from the room to calm down.

 _We could just have sex now_ , Ed had called through to him, but James had wanted to show that he could control himself. After all, he had asked for this.)

Ed's managed to find a crisp white shirt and suit trousers from somewhere, despite it being a good while since James has seen him out of the house in anything other than a hoodie and baseball cap. He takes in James with an air of blank appraisal; Ed had reminded James, when they had discussed it, that acting is a skill that is technically still listed on his CV.

“You wanted to see me,” James says.

“Come right up to the desk when you’re speaking to me,” Ed says, firmly but not unkindly, and James follows the instruction, his heart beating faster from it.

James wobbles over in a few steps. His long, gangly legs must look ridiculous like this, he thinks, plus the shoes make him even taller. To not fall over in the shoes and for the sake of modesty in the tiny skirt, he has to take very small, careful steps, and it makes him very aware of how his body moves and feels; how his body is thrown forward and upwards.

Once he’s in front of the desk, Ed runs a careless gaze over his entire body, from his legs to his gently parted lips, and James feels the heat of it right down to his bones.

“I need your help with something,” Ed says shortly, looking away from James.

“Right. Okay,” James says uncertainly, wanting to find out what Ed is going to say next, wondering when Ed’s going to start, you know. Doing something.

But Ed just leans back in his chair, legs apart and his feet, in black formal shoes, firmly planted on the floor. It makes him look powerful. He taps the keyboard and looks at the computer screen for a few minutes, making James wait – he could be pretending but he might actually be taking the opportunity to delete a few emails; that would be bloody typical.

Then Ed moves his hand to the desk tidy and, quite deliberately, knocks two pens onto the floor.

“Pick those up, please,” Ed asks in a bored tone. James blushes, because he thinks he know how he’s… he’s going to have to… 

Momentarily, he tries to simply bend down like he normally would to pick something up, but the clothes are too tight and the heels too high. So he ungracefully squats down, trying to keep himself covered – for a moment, James looks up at Ed and it looks like Ed had been about to laugh, but he doesn’t – then, from there, James goes on his hands and knees.

On his knees, he looks up at Ed again and Ed’s eyes have gone dark, pupils blown wide. James watches the way his throat tightens as he swallows and feels the prickle of sweat on the back of his neck.

After he's picked the pens up, he moves to get back up again, but Ed shakes his head. James stays in the same position and puts the pens back up on the table with one outstretched arm.

“Stay down there,” Ed says. Like this, James feels very exposed: the skirt has ridden up, revealing the smooth white silk of his underwear to anyone standing behind him, if anyone had been standing behind him.

He crawls forward, flushing hard, feeling the warm weight of his dick between his thighs, and Ed turns in his chair so that James is in between his spread legs. Positioned like this, there’s only one thing James can think about doing. His stomach flips.

(Their guest on the last _Off Menu_ they’d recorded had wanted to start with oysters, and after they’d all predictably joked about them being an aphrodisiac, James, who doesn’t like oysters, had said “I don’t see what’s sexy about having a load of salty liquid running down your chin”, and Ed had _leered_ at him in a way that, thankfully, didn’t translate well to audio, and James had felt like he was about to tremble out of his own skin.)

It’s been a relatively new revelation, and yet he feels as if he’s been thinking about it for so long solely because he’s been thinking about it so _much_. He wants to suck Ed’s cock. It’s not something he’s wanted before, but he wants it now, and that’s okay. Probably. It’s a holy thing, isn’t it, to kneel.

He’s anticipating it so much his mouth waters; he swallows nervously, and Ed just _watches_ him, watches and watches, as if Ed’s expecting something even though Ed is the one meant to be telling James what to do.

He wants to make Ed happy. He wants to make Ed feel good.

Ed drags the pad of his thumb over James’s lips and James catches it with his tongue, sucking tight around the skin. Ed’s eyes flutter closed. It’s good but he needs _more_ , more in his mouth, more to keep him here and stop him talking.

Ed pulls his thumb out of James’s mouth with a soft _pop_ and James takes a deep breath in, so blindsided he is by the loss. “Open,” Ed says, his thumb then pressing into the slack space newly-created at the outer corner of James’s mouth once James has loosened his jaw and opened wider.

“Perfect,” Ed intones. That makes James’s cock thicken further, and he valiantly tries to ignore the connection. James moves so that he’s kneeling on his calves. The skirt rides up further. His cock is tightly trapped in the silk underwear, but he doesn’t touch himself. “You’re going to take it so prettily,” Ed says, his hand still on James’s face.

Ed leaves him like that, mouth still open, _waiting_ for it, as Ed slowly unzips his flies and takes out his cock from his boxers. He’s hard, leaking slightly at the tip, and James desperately thinks about what it might taste like. (Why does he need to know that so much? Where has his sweet tooth gone?)

“I don’t want you using your hands,” Ed says around a tight swallow, and James distantly thinks that he could do this all day, just waiting and listening and obeying. “You just need to take it, okay?”

James moans unthinkingly in agreement, but it becomes a muffled sound as Ed uses his other hand to guide his cock into James’s waiting mouth.

It feels so good in his mouth: deep and big.

Like this, his face is close to Ed’s thighs, thickly muscled, and his hands are scrabbling over Ed’s still-clothed calves as he fights the urge to put them to use.

“Put your hands behind your back,” Ed says, and James does it without even thinking about it, clasping them tightly together. Even when kneeling, the shoes throw James forward in a way he isn’t used to, and it’s hard for him to keep his balance. He pitches further forward, mouth deeper onto Ed’s cock, and that’s the first time he chokes.

James moans again as he feels Ed’s fingers that had been splayed across his face move to clench into James’s hair. Ed pulls so that James’s head is moved back, and James concentrates on the pain that spikes just above the nape of his neck.

“God, you’re good at this,” Ed says sincerely, and James would flinch and hide his face at the sincerity except that James _can’t move_.

He sucks again as Ed pushes into him, trying to hollow out his cheeks. He feels cradled like this, aware of all the amazing sounds Ed is making as he thrusts into James’s mouth and swears in quiet wonder.

“Going to come down your throat,” Ed says, in a hurried tone that makes James’s straining cock pulse with heat, and that’s all the warning James gets before he does, pulsing dick jammed hot against the entrance to James’s throat as James swallows furiously, trying to get it all, choking a little, some of it bubbling out and down his chin.

Ed looks flushed – still fully-clothed, his pink skin disappears under his collar. He’s breathing hard and looking at James in awe.

“Get up on the desk,” Ed says after a moment’s pause, wheeling his chair so that it’s right against the back wall. “I want to get a good look at you.”

Blushing, James takes the arm that Ed has proffered and unsteadily raises himself to his feet. He realises from an accidental look in the mirror that his lipstick is hopelessly smudged and there’s still some come on his face, but when he raises a hand to wipe it away Ed says _leave that_ so firmly that James does leave it, jerking his hand away, no further thought required.

Ed helps him to sit on the desk, his legs spread wide and his heels on the front corners of the chair, either side of where Ed’s sitting. James feels particularly exposed like this, his stupid legs open and giving unfettered access to his cock, which has leaked so much that some of the white silk of the women’s underwear he’s wearing has gone see-through. It looks a mess.

“This is not appropriate office wear,” Ed says firmly, and James wants to roll his eyes but for the heart-stopping way Ed makes him feel by saying it. James is not stable on his feet like this, perched on the edge of the desk and balancing on the heels, so he grabs onto the edge of the desk to stay up.

“And we can’t have you going around looking like this,” Ed drawls with a sharp smirk, reaching for James’s cock through the silk. The brief touch after being ignored for so long makes James whimper. He catches sight of his red face in the mirror, and looks away from himself again in embarrassment.

“Someone will have to take care of you,” says Ed, seemingly not minding that James has lost the power of cognisant speech. He fondles James’s cock again through the underwear. James feels more precome leave him with a stab of shame.

“You think you’ve known someone for years,” Ed says as if deep in thought. “But I didn’t have you pegged as such a slut.”

“Ed,” James gasps. “Oh my God.”

“You’ve ruined these pretty knickers,” Ed says, injecting an air of regret into his voice. “No point keeping them, I suppose.”

James watches, panting, as Ed grabs a pair of scissors from the stationery pot on the desk and snips either side of the waistband so that the middle falls away. “Please,” James babbles, embarrassed but too far gone to let the feeling stop himself. “Please, please.” He twists against Ed’s firm grasp on his cock, eyes briefly up to the ceiling, overwhelmed, and watches as Ed pulls him off, the tight grip and the pull towards orgasm overwhelming.

It’s no time at all before he’s gasping wordlessly, painfully loudly, and he comes hard, over Ed’s hand and against the pushed-up underside of the skirt.

“Fuck,” Ed says after a few moments. James has to agree. Ed takes one of James’s high heels off and starts thoughtfully rubbing his foot.

“You’re good at that,” Ed says, looking up at him. “At sucking my dick, and at dressing up like a girl.”

“Cheers,” James says, smiling. “You’re good at acting and being careless with pens.”


End file.
